My mom was an extraordinary woman. She was an amazing artist, a brilliant cook and the best hug giver I’ve ever known. She loved with every breath and was a pretty incredible problem solver. And yes, I mean from advanced mathematics to seemingly being able to channel her father when it came to building something or designing something to fix something else. She was witty and smart and was adored by many more than just me. I miss her more with each passing day and hold her teachings close to my heart. One of her teachings was recently presented to me again.
Today I had a conversation with a dear friend, who used my mother’s words to help me as I had offered them to help him not long ago. I shared one of these pearls of wisdom when he was having a difficult time. From problems with water entering his home through the walls of his basement which would cause anyone distress, aggravation, an unexpected expense. Combine that with facing a surgical procedure that could ultimately take his life on the table, or extend the gift of time with his wife. Thankfully, today he is enjoying that gift. But yesterday, when I was in a dark place, hearing my mothers words from him broke the tension and sliced through the pain.
“If money can solve your problems, you don’t have any.”
Nine words strung together that can stop you in your tracks. They can for a moment make you angry. “Damnit, I need more money.” But then they make you realize, there are those who have bank accounts higher than Mt. Everest, but if diagnosed with cancer, or ALS or dozens of different horrible illnesses, cannot buy themselves out of that situation. Having good health, a decent quality of life, just waking up in the morning, oh and throw in a little happiness. Money alone cannot compete or understand just how priceless that is.
“Thanks a lot.” Can be said sarcastically. You’ve been dealt a terrible hand. Learn your car needs major repairs, the unexpected expense of a new furnace, and so many other things can present themselves. You can shake your head, pound your fist and scream, “THANKS a lot!” My dad would have added…”I need this like a hole in the head!” Yeah, I’m sure you’ve heard that before.
Or “Thanks a lot.” Can be said with sincerity, appreciation, and love. It can be spoken while holding hands at Thanksgiving. It can be said to someone who took the time to visit you in the hospital. Or bake you a casserole when you’re under the weather, or lost a loved one. We hear the word “thanks” a lot before and during the holiday. But it’s during those unexpected times, when you feel you are alone and facing a crisis you can’t easily share, that it means oh so much more.
So I would like to acknowledge and give thanks and celebrate my friend JD in this November blog. For not just talking a good talk. But to honestly and sincerely listen, hearing my pain, reaching out, breaking things down into easy to see pieces and building me back up. Without judgment, without ridicule or guilt but with my mother’s words. It’s not often you find someone that is a complete package. We each have friends who come in and out of our lives. Who bring spice or drama, support or adventure into our day to day living. But it is those special few, who you can lean on no matter what and their strength carries you forward. I’m so proud and humbled to call him my friend. I wish my mom could have met him (and his wife!), I think she would have loved him too.
Thanks. A LOT!
Breathe Deep, Think Peace