Love or Tolerance?

As I began to gather my thoughts and feelings about the topic of this piece, my inclination was to focus on family.  Particularly our children, who we love with all our heart.  But there are times we must tolerate their actions, remain patient, and count to ten times ten in our head before responding or reacting.

However, the subject of loving or tolerating the behavior of our children was quietly pushed aside, when I learned of the murders at the AME Church in South Carolina.  My heart ached as I listen to people speaking on the news, and I wondered what good if any, could come from this horrific crime.

Could it be that people are finally beginning to understand, perhaps dare I say, begin in the tiniest way to see we really are all one race?  That deciding ones character based on his/her skin color is as ridiculous as it sounds?  Effigies of the past need to stay quietly in the past – we must never forget them, but we do not have to have them stare us in the face every day we walk this earth.  We need to move forward and be mindful of unintentional wounds given, that scar others in ways we cannot imagine.  To take responsibility for words spoken, and actions taken.  To understand the ‘why’ before the ‘want’.  Why are people upset about the Confederate flag?  What are the reasons behind their opinions?  How can we be nonjudgmental to all parties?  Is that even possible?

Yes, yes I do believe it is possible.  IF you combine love and tolerance, and accept the good in people, while respecting their thoughts, opinions and flaws of being human.  Even if you do not necessarily agree with them.  The definition of tolerance is, “The ability or willingness to tolerate something in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.”  Thus first, we must be willing to do something (conversation), we must agree that it is the right thing to do, then do it (action).

The definition of love is, “An intense feeling of deep affection.”  We all know that you can define love and write down what the dictionary explains it as.  Yet we also know it is so much more than six words describing it.  It has layers and layers of hopes and dreams, emotions, scars, pains and pleasures.

When combined, love and tolerance can be a powerful thing.  It can open doors you didn’t even know were locked.  It can open minds to think outside what they have always been comfortable thinking.  It can show a 360 degree landscape that fills your mind, body and soul with breathtaking beauty and wonder.  Think of all the possibilities if we just dare to believe this can happen!

What I find deeply sorrowful, is it seems to take terrible tragedies to bring people together.  To forget the blame, and react in kindness to what a person may need.  Why is that?  Perhaps it is because it is the highest emotional charged experience.  You suffer, you’re in severe pain, your heart is broken, and your soul weeps.  Instead of someone walking away from your sorrow, they walk towards you, arms outstretched.  Their shoulders and back strengthen to carry your weight.  They can think clearly and react with haste to do what needs to be done.  It is the right thing to do.  Taking place in this world so full of intolerance, hate and fear.  At the time when you wouldn’t be surprised by things blowing up and drifting away on the wind – we come together.  In our communities, in our families and especially within ourselves.  Unconditional love and unsparing tolerance.


Breathe Deep, Think Peace

Patricia Young


About Patty Young

Patricia Young spent most of her life in the Northeast. Before the casinos arrived and many of the safety rails installed, she would walk Bushkill Falls and enjoy time in a little cabin by Meadow Lake near the Delaware Water Gap. The school year was spent in New Jersey, but many summers were spent in Mississippi where she wandered in the woods, ride horses, reading comic books and played with cousins. After graduating from college with a degree in education, she taught fifth grade in Queens. When rent climbed higher than her salary she working for a defense industry in Yonkers before starting a small business called, The Giving Tree Day Care. For fifteen years she was fondly "held hostage by two year olds!" Writing every day for in a notebook for each child to keep communication open and flowing to the families. Fast forward to the spring of 2013 diagnosed with sever carpal tunnel syndrome (she does NOT recommend having both hands done at the same time! Often wondering "What was I thinking?!") Physical therapy and time slowly began the healing process and gardening strengthened her hands. After an unexpected, but deeply personal journey to Montana in the fall of 2013 she decided it was time to reinvent herself and embrace her passion for words. With renewed confidence, and a plan to do the work necessary to become a writer, she began writing every day (with the help of - thank you Kellianne and Buster!), submitting to a variety of magazines and contests to practice the craft. As well as participating in the Learning to See poetry programs offered at the local library. Attending writing retreats, workshops, lectures, taking classes, reading and immersing herself in the process. She began to work with writers and authors in the tri-state area. Presently living in Westchester New York Patricia lives with her husband of 29 years, two daughters – both attending college and grad school and a dear college friend – all under the roof of a little cape cod. Its snug – but the laughter and support is rich and full! Patricia is working on her first novel with her editor, with hopes and dreams and fingers crossed to find an agent in the fall of 2015. You are invited to join her on this journey of a writer. To experience her trials, successes and stumbles along the way. Perhaps it will help you find your brave, and if writing is in your soul - to join her. Share your stories and maybe together we will unravel some of the complexities of this life. To heal, hope and learn what we can from one another, in the time we have. To listen and hear one another's stories. Breathe Deep, Think Peace Patty
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