Love or Tolerance?

As I began to gather my thoughts and feelings about the topic of this piece, my inclination was to focus on family.  Particularly our children, who we love with all our heart.  But there are times we must tolerate their actions, remain patient, and count to ten times ten in our head before responding or reacting.

However, the subject of loving or tolerating the behavior of our children was quietly pushed aside, when I learned of the murders at the AME Church in South Carolina.  My heart ached as I listen to people speaking on the news, and I wondered what good if any, could come from this horrific crime.

Could it be that people are finally beginning to understand, perhaps dare I say, begin in the tiniest way to see we really are all one race?  That deciding ones character based on his/her skin color is as ridiculous as it sounds?  Effigies of the past need to stay quietly in the past – we must never forget them, but we do not have to have them stare us in the face every day we walk this earth.  We need to move forward and be mindful of unintentional wounds given, that scar others in ways we cannot imagine.  To take responsibility for words spoken, and actions taken.  To understand the ‘why’ before the ‘want’.  Why are people upset about the Confederate flag?  What are the reasons behind their opinions?  How can we be nonjudgmental to all parties?  Is that even possible?

Yes, yes I do believe it is possible.  IF you combine love and tolerance, and accept the good in people, while respecting their thoughts, opinions and flaws of being human.  Even if you do not necessarily agree with them.  The definition of tolerance is, “The ability or willingness to tolerate something in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.”  Thus first, we must be willing to do something (conversation), we must agree that it is the right thing to do, then do it (action).

The definition of love is, “An intense feeling of deep affection.”  We all know that you can define love and write down what the dictionary explains it as.  Yet we also know it is so much more than six words describing it.  It has layers and layers of hopes and dreams, emotions, scars, pains and pleasures.

When combined, love and tolerance can be a powerful thing.  It can open doors you didn’t even know were locked.  It can open minds to think outside what they have always been comfortable thinking.  It can show a 360 degree landscape that fills your mind, body and soul with breathtaking beauty and wonder.  Think of all the possibilities if we just dare to believe this can happen!

What I find deeply sorrowful, is it seems to take terrible tragedies to bring people together.  To forget the blame, and react in kindness to what a person may need.  Why is that?  Perhaps it is because it is the highest emotional charged experience.  You suffer, you’re in severe pain, your heart is broken, and your soul weeps.  Instead of someone walking away from your sorrow, they walk towards you, arms outstretched.  Their shoulders and back strengthen to carry your weight.  They can think clearly and react with haste to do what needs to be done.  It is the right thing to do.  Taking place in this world so full of intolerance, hate and fear.  At the time when you wouldn’t be surprised by things blowing up and drifting away on the wind – we come together.  In our communities, in our families and especially within ourselves.  Unconditional love and unsparing tolerance.


Breathe Deep, Think Peace

Patricia Young

About Patricia Young

Patricia Young spent most of her life in the Northeast. Before the casinos arrived and many of the safety rails installed, she would hike Bushkill Falls and enjoy time in a little cabin by Meadow Lake near the Delaware Water Gap. The school year was spent in New Jersey, but many summers were spent in Mississippi where she wandered in the woods, rode horses, and read piles of comic books with cousins. After graduating from college with a degree in education, she taught fifth grade in Bayside, Queens. When rent climbed to high for her salary she working for the defense industry in Yonkers before starting a small business called, The Giving Tree Day Care. For fifteen years she was "held hostage by two-year-olds!" Writing every day in a notebook for each child to keep communication open to each family. Fast forward to the spring of 2013 diagnosed with severe carpal tunnel syndrome (she does NOT recommend having both hands done at the same time! Often wondering "What was I thinking?!") Physical therapy and time slowly began the healing process and gardening strengthened her hands. After an unexpected, but a deeply personal journey to Montana in the fall of 2013 she decided it was time to reinvent herself and embrace her fondness for writing. With renewed confidence, and a plan to do the work necessary to become a writer, she began writing every day (with the help of - thank you Kellianne and Buster!), submitting to a variety of magazines and contests to practice the craft. Attending writing retreats, workshops, lectures, taking classes, reading and immersing herself in the process. She began to work with writers and authors in the tri-state area. Currently living in Westchester New York Patty lives with her husband of 32 years, two dogs, two fish, and one cat in a little Cape Cod. The laughter, love, and support are plentiful. Patty has completed her first novel presently called "Northeast of 80". Working with her genre editor, she hopes and dreams and keeps fingers crossed to find an agent in the fall of 2019. You are invited to join her on this journey of a writer. To experience her trials, successes and stumbles along the way. Please share your own stories and maybe we can untangle some of the complexities of this writers life together. Breathe Deep, Think Peace
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