I Get It! I said, “No”.

Dear Readers,  Today it was brought to my attention that the original post “I Get It! I said, No”.  nay have inadvertently offended someone I care for very deeply.  It was never my intention to hurt anyone and I am deeply sorry if my words caused any pain.  I believe in karma, and although I cannot undo hurt, I can apologize.  I am sorry.      P.Young


Yesterday I did something for me.  I said, “No.”.   Yesterday I thought and considered and really struggled with what I wanted to do, compared to what I need to do, or was asked to do.Yesterday I said, “I can’t help you, not right now, and I’m not sure when I’ll be able to.  Because, I’m focused on The Process.”

What is “The Process” you may ask.  It is learning to write.  It is not writing the same way over and over again, assuming you are getting better.  It is giving your writing priority, to practice and learning the fundamentals of writing, spelling grammar and punctuation – then executing them correctly.

For me personally, it is trying not to be judgmental, or biting off more than I can chew.  It is being open minded, and mindful in what I hope to achieve.    It’s also being vulnerable.  Putting your piece together the best way you can, before you give it to an editor who really knows what their doing.  There are different editors for different genres.  Do some research and get a recommendation if possible.  You want someone better than you or I to polish what you’ve written.  It takes time and effort and that four letter word – work.  THAT is the secret, the key, the path.  The secret is that good writing is a process.    When asked to read something.   It is very difficult, when it needs to be edited first, at the very least proof read.    I can’t read it the way you would wants me to without that executed correctly.  It short changes both of us.

Watching recent events, has totally helped me to understand why editors, agents and publishing houses, bang their heads on the wall over and over again, making them become a uniquely powerful, not going to talk to you, industry.  “GO LEARN TO WRITE FIRST” said E.W.  You cannot simply put  an extraordinary idea on the page, and expect your editor or agent to untangle it, spell it correctly and put it in the right form for the right genre and of course, make you a bucket full of money.

This is what I was told recently, loud and clear by a college writing professor, who is helping me edit my first book.  She has been brutally honest with me, and I am sincerely grateful for it.  As well as learning to develop a thicker skin.  She shared with me how many people approach her wanting to know how to get a book published.  She is flabbergasted – there are so many steps before you can begin to approach a publisher – the first – learn to write and write it completely.  Not just one chapter at a time – finish the manuscript.

Geez, I am probably taking a big chance putting this on my blog.  It is not my intention to hurt anyone’s feelings, but I want to be as honest with you dear reader, as my mentor has been with me.

Here’s another secret.  If you want to write fiction – learn to write fiction and practice.  If you want to write children’s books.  Great!  Surround yourself with people who write children’s books and learn to write them.  The same with horror, mystery, non-fiction, memoir.  Learn to write the right way!

Am I blasting fellow writers?  Hell no!  I learn from them every time I’m with them.  Some negative. Some positive.  You know – balanced.  I am in no way, shape or form criticizing them or putting myself on a pedestal.  I am becoming a better writer because of them.  But it comes down to doing the work.  Giving it the best you’ve got.  I want them to succeed as much as I want to!

For over a little more than a year now, I’ve taken classes, at the library, at the community college, I’ve read a bunch of books, I’ve asked questions and listened and compared and studied.  And most important I’ve written till my joints ache in my hands.  I’m following the advice from Laura Muson who said to me on the phone, “Do the work.”   I’m not stupid, I know I have a long way to go, lots more to read, to learn and to fail then get up, dust off and try again, and again and again.

I get it!  I get the process and I understand now more than I ever would have believed before, in many cases to get published –  is a fluke, a lightening strike, a trip over a four leaf clover that lands you in the right place at the right time.  Not for everything – but as a writer trying to do the right thing, follow the right path, surround yourself with the right people.  Oh My God that is ridiculously hard!  And after all that, you know what? You may not make it, you may not get one fricken word published!  And how does that make you feel?!!

Like crap! BUT It doesn’t have to.

I was sitting next to a woman in the Community of Writers in our library.  A wonderful diverse, multi-genre group of the most interesting, fun, all age individuals I’ve ever been part of.  I love these people – maybe not some of their writing, but we all try very hard to find what we like, what we don’t like, and say why to each.

As we were talking, this very talented poet said something that totally blew my mind.  “How do we write well, and enjoy it, even if we have no desire to publish?”

Wow – here I have been so focused on the “P” word, did I lose the love for the craft?  Did I push aside the joy of the actual writing – the feel of the pen, touch of the paper – the sound of the soft scratching on the page – like cat tails dancing near a lake??  Oh thank God.  Nooooo!

This whole process of the craft, the art, the skill, the purpose, the words is pure passion!  If I get my book published – you will hear it!  I will do the happy dance and make all sorts of interesting sounds.  My neighbor, who has already read my first book, and asking for another – God Bless her.  Will meet me in the middle of the street – where we have had our best conversations in years of neighbordom – and she will cry and shout right along with me!  Because I know I have not written alone.  I know family and friends and circles of people holding pens are right there with me when I write.  It is a process, a group effort, there are lows and highs and wonderfuls and terribles.

But that one woman, sitting beside me, having no interest in beginning this uphill climb – reminded me, no matter what.  I love to write.

It is a drive, a passion (geez that word is used WAY too much right E.W?!), a yearning as powerful as my yearning for chocolate.  It is something I have to do, every day, no matter if I am paid to do it or not.  I will continue – to explore – to create – to laugh, cry, and bang my head against the wall while I’m figuring it all out.  It all falls into one messy, sticky, complex pile that I throw myself into, like a child in soft snow or crunchy leaves.  Today I will stop analyzing, stop expecting,  stop picking up The Elements of Style when I’m stuck or questioning (wait, what am I saying, that little book is glued to my desk!).  I will stop taking myself too seriously, and looking down the path with blinders on while I bang out this many pages before noon.  Today I will allow myself to dance across the keyboard – – – and write what I want to.   And hope and pray, one day – I’ll feel that lightening strike too.

Breathe Deep, Think Peace


About Patricia Young

Patricia Young spent most of her life in the Northeast. Before the casinos arrived and many of the safety rails installed, she would hike Bushkill Falls and enjoy time in a little cabin by Meadow Lake near the Delaware Water Gap. The school year was spent in New Jersey, but many summers were spent in Mississippi where she wandered in the woods, rode horses, and read piles of comic books with cousins. After graduating from college with a degree in education, she taught fifth grade in Bayside, Queens. When rent climbed to high for her salary she working for the defense industry in Yonkers before starting a small business called, The Giving Tree Day Care. For fifteen years she was "held hostage by two-year-olds!" Writing every day in a notebook for each child to keep communication open to each family. Fast forward to the spring of 2013 diagnosed with severe carpal tunnel syndrome (she does NOT recommend having both hands done at the same time! Often wondering "What was I thinking?!") Physical therapy and time slowly began the healing process and gardening strengthened her hands. After an unexpected, but a deeply personal journey to Montana in the fall of 2013 she decided it was time to reinvent herself and embrace her fondness for writing. With renewed confidence, and a plan to do the work necessary to become a writer, she began writing every day (with the help of 750Words.com - thank you Kellianne and Buster!), submitting to a variety of magazines and contests to practice the craft. Attending writing retreats, workshops, lectures, taking classes, reading and immersing herself in the process. She began to work with writers and authors in the tri-state area. Currently living in Westchester New York Patty lives with her husband of 32 years, two dogs, two fish, and one cat in a little Cape Cod. The laughter, love, and support are plentiful. Patty has completed her first novel presently called "Northeast of 80". Working with her genre editor, she hopes and dreams and keeps fingers crossed to find an agent in the fall of 2019. You are invited to join her on this journey of a writer. To experience her trials, successes and stumbles along the way. Please share your own stories and maybe we can untangle some of the complexities of this writers life together. Breathe Deep, Think Peace
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to I Get It! I said, “No”.

  1. Warren says:

    Good for you Patty. 😊

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.