Christmas 2014 – a mini rant – a wish and a prayer for you!

What a wonderful year it has been since  Christmas Eve 2013.  That was one year I could not wait to end.  Ugh.  So unhappy, so afraid of what was completely out from under my control.  So miserable in my job – in my life – no direction really and needing a miracle.  And I got one.  You can too.

Do the work – that is what you have to do to make what you want happen.  And I did it.  Booya.  It is at the point now that it is a little mundane – not boring, but there are certain things that have to happen in a certain order.  If you do not keep plugging away, you don’t get the prize, you miss it, maybe by a day, a week, a year – an hour a minute a moment.  I can feel it.  You can too.  Anyone who started an exercise regime full swing, then three months later are sitting with a bag of chips and reruns on tv.

I also feel that doubt creeping in.  That horrible little troll of a creature that makes me want to give up before I’ve even gotten to the finish line.  Not happening.  Come to far for that – look I’ve written for four hundred fifty six days in a row writing.  In the scheme of things it is a drop in the bucket, in the world of writers – ain’t nothing, for someone like Hemingway – can’t imagine how many millions of words that man wrote.

But for the beginning writer – it is awesome and I will celebrate the awesomeness!

So it is Christmas Eve – we bought presents I think everyone will enjoy, or at least smile, maybe laugh or guffaw.  And that is good.  It is the one time of year we indulge on purpose. And I’m done feeling guilty about it.

There were years and years I had no idea how I was going to pull it off,   Years and years of credit card debt – won’t ever do that again.  Years and years of doubt and tears.  Enough already.  I’m done.  I want a Merry Christmas and I shall have one.

Not in a church or near a plastic crèche.  It is in my heart and will be carried as such – it is my peace on earth.  And if everyone would simply do that – be the peace on earth they wish to see in the world – maybe, just maybe we all could live just like that.  In peace.

I was thinking of war – why Israel and Pakistan are so angry at one another.  How they are fighting for a piece of dirt.  A slice of land that no one actually really owns, because you will die – you will turn into that piece of dirt – and people will continue to fight?  How stupid is that?!  Take away all the history, the why, the reason, the man made decisions – and you get what?  People standing on a piece of earth that cannot say two nice words to another!  Ridiculous.  A pitiful waste of time, energy, bodies – And the children!  What will they learn from all this?  Nothing.  Because they too will grow old and die for a piece of earth.  Feel free to substitute any country who is at war.

Did anyone ever consider maybe this was all part of a higher powers plan?!  See if the humans can actually get along – work it out?  Create decisions that will benefit both parties.  Oh My God – what a concept.  But wait – it won’t work!  How do I know this?  Just look at the US gov’t.  There are people who call themselves Democrats, others Republicans.  Life long careers – huge salaries and perks and months and months of vacations.  They have everything – so much more luxury than that piece of dirt across the ocean, that by the way,  I don’t want to look at because it makes me feel funny.  BUT wait – we have all the luxury and still cannot work out our difference and plan for the best for our country!  Not the best career move for ourselves.  Actually looking forward and planning and being proud of what we’ve planned that helps others more than it helps ourselves.  Wow.  What a concept.  Ha!  It’s pathetic.

It’s discouraging, sad and makes me embarrassed when I think of my countries gov’t who has the audacity to condemn other lands, when their own gov’t are still trying to work on issues like – hmm how about sanitation – bathrooms – clean water!  Oh My God – do you think they give a damn about the S&P500 and what the markets look like today?

Oh but wait – you’d say that’s important information!  And you’d be right!  So lets put it in a bottle and feed that starving child, cause you know what? The ‘important’ to you on Wall Street, Gov’t, a 2 million dollar home with radiant floor heating, a summer home on each coast and a college fund already paid for for Jr.   That’s what’s really important isn’t it?

In all fairness.  Yes.  It is. And they have that right and God bless them for having the ability to do that.

In all fairness – there are people waking up in shelters this morning – Christmas Eve who are thankful for the cot they had to sleep on.  Food in their belly and making it to another day.

In all fairness – I am sitting here – typing on Christmas Eve morning, deciding which cookies to bake first and looking forward to watching my children open gifts tomorrow.

Am I a hypocrite?  Oh My God I hope not.  Am I deeply troubled by the way things are?  Absolutely.  Does it make my heart ache that anyone who lost a child, a wife or husband, a relative, friend or co-worker to violence will not be there to get a Christmas morning hug?  Yes.  With all my heart.  As does those lost to us through illness, accident, old age, – death – it all hurts, it will leave scars not seen, but felt every single day.

So my dear, dear readers.  This was originally going to be a Christmas Eve post of goodwill, best wishes for health and happiness in the New Year.  And you know what?  YOU can have it.  If you are reading this, you are so very, very blessed.  You (hopefully!) have your mind, and can think, make decisions, choices, plan directions, put hopes and dreams into place and follow that path.  You have SO much more than SO many other people have on this planet.  Enjoy it – do not feel guilty – appreciate it – then it’s okay.  Want what you have – and you will find you have more than enough.  And if by chance, you can make one other person happy – feel good about themselves, appreciated or simply recognized with a smile – please do that – for yourself and for me and wow – look at that – we shared a little peace, just for a moment, not even for a full breath in and out – but it was there and I felt it and I thank you, very, very much.

Merry Christmas!

Breathe Deep, Think Peace

Patty

Advertisements

About Patty Young

Patricia Young spent most of her life in the Northeast. Before the casinos arrived and many of the safety rails installed, she would walk Bushkill Falls and enjoy time in a little cabin by Meadow Lake near the Delaware Water Gap. The school year was spent in New Jersey, but many summers were spent in Mississippi where she wandered in the woods, ride horses, reading comic books and played with cousins. After graduating from college with a degree in education, she taught fifth grade in Queens. When rent climbed higher than her salary she working for a defense industry in Yonkers before starting a small business called, The Giving Tree Day Care. For fifteen years she was fondly "held hostage by two year olds!" Writing every day for in a notebook for each child to keep communication open and flowing to the families. Fast forward to the spring of 2013 diagnosed with sever carpal tunnel syndrome (she does NOT recommend having both hands done at the same time! Often wondering "What was I thinking?!") Physical therapy and time slowly began the healing process and gardening strengthened her hands. After an unexpected, but deeply personal journey to Montana in the fall of 2013 she decided it was time to reinvent herself and embrace her passion for words. With renewed confidence, and a plan to do the work necessary to become a writer, she began writing every day (with the help of 750Words.com - thank you Kellianne and Buster!), submitting to a variety of magazines and contests to practice the craft. As well as participating in the Learning to See poetry programs offered at the local library. Attending writing retreats, workshops, lectures, taking classes, reading and immersing herself in the process. She began to work with writers and authors in the tri-state area. Presently living in Westchester New York Patricia lives with her husband of 29 years, two daughters – both attending college and grad school and a dear college friend – all under the roof of a little cape cod. Its snug – but the laughter and support is rich and full! Patricia is working on her first novel with her editor, with hopes and dreams and fingers crossed to find an agent in the fall of 2015. You are invited to join her on this journey of a writer. To experience her trials, successes and stumbles along the way. Perhaps it will help you find your brave, and if writing is in your soul - to join her. Share your stories and maybe together we will unravel some of the complexities of this life. To heal, hope and learn what we can from one another, in the time we have. To listen and hear one another's stories. Breathe Deep, Think Peace Patty
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s